Through Your Eyes
by MisfitToyGirl
Summary: Rachel's life turned into pieces and she can't handle anymore, at least not alone. Faberrittana one-shots.  Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea
1. Any Other World

**_A/N : Enjoy_**

* * *

><p><em>Say goodbye to the world y<em>_ou thought you lived in __take a bow __play the part __of a lonely lonely heart __say goodbye to the world __you thought you lived int__o the world you thought you lived in_

You don't know how you became so jaded, to fight back, to love, to do the things you used to do.

It doesn't make any difference if they know you're there or not, it doesn't matter.

The slushies keep coming, the name calling and a lot of other things you're going through.

Your steps are heavier, your vision is a blur, you can't shut the noises out and concentrate in the song playing loud in your Ipod.

Some stupid jock just pushed you away from his path and straight to the lockers, your back hit the cool metal and hit hard making you fall, you're again on your feet walking slowly to the bathroom but you don't know someone's eyes are following every move you make, three sets of them.


	2. Wash Away Those Years

_Well if you'll just close your eyes __and just imagine everything's alright __but do not hide your tears __'cause they were sent to wash away those years_

When you were six you saw it happen for the very first time.

You came home so happy because you had won the singing school's contest and was excited to tell Dad and Daddy.

From the front door you heard the screams, the awful words, they're yelling at each other and you couldn't imagine why cause you have never seen a couple that loved each other so much, truly love you mean, break like that.

There was glass scattered all over the house, your dad was so angry he didn't notice your broken stare when he passed you and walked away shuting the door behind him.

Daddy hugged you and lied telling you everything was going to be alright.


	3. Everything I Own

_I would give anything I own, give up me life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own just to have you back again._

Finn was fighting with you over a silly thing like Jesse texting to let you know he made it as a Broadway director.

God, how on earth can this overgrown child be so dumb.

But he lost it, he grabbed your arms and forced you to look at him. You didn't feel fear, you felt disdain.

¨ Let her go Finn, Now! ¨ You heard the HBIC demand.

The moment he let go of your arms, you felt it sting like a bitch, the red color stained on your long sleeve shirt.

All eyes were suddenly looking at you.

¨ Shit ¨ You muttered before sprinting down the hall to the bathroom.


	4. Hero

_I'm just a step away i'm just a breath away losin' my faith today (fallin' off the edge today)_

You were locked inside one stall when you heard voices, the Unholy Trinity followed you when you run from the crowd that had formed when your about to be ex- boyfriend yelled at you.

¨ Come on Berry, get your ass out of there ¨ Santana ordered banging on the door non stop.

¨ San...be nice ¨ Brittany told her.

¨ Listen Rachel we need to talk, the four of us. There's something we'd like to fix ¨ Quinn asked nicely, you were shocked she called you by your name.

You opened the door, eyes searching for something cool in the ceiling.

¨ Okay, but you never saw any of this...is that clear? ¨ You pointed to your bleeding arms.

The girls nodded and asked if they could give you a ride.


	5. Breaking The Habit

_I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean __I don't know how I got this way I know it's not alright so i'm breaking the habit breaking the habit tonight_

The way to your house was silent, you were in the backseat with Brittany, she was always smiling at you and did nothing but hold your hand.

You looked through the window, the people passing by, clueless. The same places as usual.

When you arrived there Quinn was going to knock but you stopped her.

¨ Don't bother, they're not there ¨ You said turning the key and pushing the door open.

They followed you to the kitchen and you made hot chocolate for them.

¨ So? ¨ You asked putting your mug in the table.

¨ We are sorry for everything we've done, I've done to you...but mostly because you seem so broken Rachel ¨ The smaller blonde said.

¨ I'm not going to be all emotional, none of this crap is my style but I'd like to make it up to you ¨ Santana stated.

Brittany simply pulled you into a hug. She was never mean anyway.


	6. The Reason

_I'm not a perfect person there's many things I wish I didn't do but I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you and so, I have to say before I go that I just want you to know __i've found out a reason for me to change who I used to be a reason to start over new and the reason is you_

If you said you never harbored friendly feelings for them, maybe more than that, you'd be a liar.

So you accepted the white flag and befriended the cheerios.

They walked you to your classes, the slushies and name calling stopped cause no one would go against the will of a Fabray or Lopez.

Everyday they'd wait till your last class was done and give you a ride, your dads were never there if they asked so they knew something was wrong, but decided to respect your wish of not sharing more than the essential.

Brittany was this bubbly person who would make you laugh everytime, Quinn was protective and was doing her best to be that friend she knew you've wanted and Santana did not bossed around as often and beat the hell out of a boy for accidentally brushing on your wounded arm, making you wince.

You were tempted not to believe but it's happening.


	7. It's Not Easy

_It may sound absurd __but don't be naive __even heroes have the right to bleed __I may be disturbed __but won't you concede __even heroes have the right to dream __and it's not easy to be me_

It was friday and the girls were leaving when you held Quinn's hand.

¨ Maybe if I'm not overstepping the boundaries you guys would like to watch a movie and sleepover if you want ¨

¨ So much to ask us to stay...seriously ¨ Santana made her way in without another word.

Quinn chose one of your many horror movies while Santana and Brittany made popcorn.

You didn't know how the hell that happened but you ended up in the middle of them, personal space aside, your head resting on Brittany's chest, your legs spread over Santana's lap and Quinn playing with your hair.

That had to be a dream, a good one you might add. 


	8. Without You

_The way you always made me look at you __with all the simple things you said __the way so many things surrounded you __and all the tears it seemed to make __and they were falling t__here's nothing left to say __and I can't break free __not from in me there_

That night you begged you did not have the nightmares you always had, at least not scream and wake them up, pointless.

You remember being shaken by Santana, you were dripping cold sweat, tossing and turning, the screams high.

You didn't want to do it, you were just too much overwelmed by your problems, you hugged her tight not caring if she would push you away, to your surprise she hugged you back, whispering words of comfort in you ear.

That was enough for you to you cry your heart out, your wounds were pressured by your body during the night they were itching, to the hell with the world they were being great with you, they had the right to know.

So you took a deep breathe and pulled your shirt out, revealing fully cut covered arms.


	9. Thunder

_Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer __do you know you're unlike any other? __you'll always be my thunder, and I said __your eyes are the brightest of all the colors I__ don't wanna ever love another __you'll always be my thunder __so bring on the rain __and bring on the thunder_

¨ Please don't judge me ¨ Your voice wavered ever so slightly, silent begging for them to runaway, run from the pathetic person you became.

There was this big gap between them and you, you could feel it. For some unknow reason they didn't turn their backs at you. They were openly crying, even Santana was holding back a sob, it was not out of pity you knew that much, they were hurt because of you.

¨ We're not going anywhere Rachel, we're going to take care of you I promise ¨ Quinn said pulling you into her arms.

¨ When you feel like you are ready you can tell us why okay ¨ The brunette put your hair behind your ear softly.

¨ And I can give you my stuffed duckie when you're sad Rae ¨ Brittany smiled at you like she'd never seen the ugly scars on your arms.

They slept in your bed, that was the first time in years you felt liked, daring to say loved.


	10. Dance With The Devil

_I believe in you I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies I won't stay long, in this world so wrong __say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight don't you dare look at him in the eye as we dance with the devil tonight_

¨ What do you think Rae, blue or pink? ¨

¨ Blue for sure Britt, match the color of your eyes ¨

Brittany was choosing the outfit for her dance perfomance, you were laying in the floor, arms crossed behind your head, giving her your opinion. Santana and Quinn were out to buy ice cream.

That's when you felt it again, that unstoppable will to cause self-harm, making you jump and run to the bathroom.

¨ Rae what's wrong? ¨ The blonde dancer asked.

¨ Don't come inside Brittany please! ¨

Too late, she reached out for you just in time to see you digging your nails on your own skin, seemed like you're trying to get something out the way you were bleeding.

She took her cellphone and dialed Santana's number.

¨ Hurry up ¨ She begged, doing her best to hold you still, you squirmed under her body squeezing your eyes shut. 


	11. My Immortal

_These wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase __when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears and I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me_

¨ Stop! ¨

Santana's voice snapped you out of your trance, by now you had gone so far you didn't feel any pain anymore, drawn into a numb state. Brittany has your blood on her delicate hands, you're sorry.

You must be looking pretty bad because they're running after aid, you're a fail for making them feel afraid you closed your eyes and wished you wouldn't open them again.

A few hours passed when you woke up, feeling worse than before. Maybe for a moment you forgot who you were.

Brittany and Santana were sleeping in the chairs next to your bed and Quinn was right there by your side.

¨ Hey you ¨ She said trying not to show the anger mixed with fear and something else in her voice.

¨ Hey, I'm so- ¨

She cut you mid sentence, crashing her lips against yours.


	12. Stop Crying Your Heart Out

_'Cause all of the stars __are fading away __just try not to worry __you'll see them some day __just take what you need __and be on your way __and stop crying your heart out_

The kiss between you and Quinn was never talked about, she acted as if nothing had happened, you danced according to the song.

Still feeling the sweet taste of her warm mouth, mint flavor.

One day you were walking by Santana's house and thought about paying a visit. You knocked several times but got no response, the wise thing to do was to go away but who said you're a wise person. The back door was open so you got in and searched for her, what you did not expect was to find the latina and your cute blonde friend having sex on the pool.

From that time you just couldn't stop thinking about it, not only the two of them but Quinn too.

Only to come to terms with your sexuality, you were gay...the worst thing about that? you were gay for your friends Quinn, Santana and Brittany.


	13. Over My Head

_I never knew I never knew that everything was falling through that everyone I knew was waiting on a queue to turn and run when all I needed was the truth but that's how it's gotta be it's coming down to nothing more than apathy i'd rather run the other way than stay and see the smoke and who's still standing when it clears_

You lost count how many times this past months you've been in the hospital, it's junior year and you are spending more time in this place than in school.

Your colorful world is dying right in front of your eyes. That's because your Daddy chose not to tell about his condition, that made Dad leave.

All you wanted was a friend, someone to talk to, to ask why this was happening to your family cause God was not a choice you weren't a true believer.

Instead you received something worse, when the tears dried you were left with nothing but a sharp razor, a lost stare and a fake smile.


	14. Apologize

_I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you and I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothing new (yeah) I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue_

¨ We need to talk ¨ You said from your spot in the king sized bed you were currently sharing with Santana and Brittany.

¨ What now blondie? ¨ The latina asked blatantly bored, perfect eye roll.

¨ I kissed Rachel ¨

Both Santana and Brittany spilled their drinks out.

¨ The hell Fabray? were you high or something! ¨

¨ No...I just, she's so beautiful and hurt ¨

¨ San the three of us are already dating anyway, and I see the way you look at her, you love her like I do and Quinn does ¨

¨ You're so smart Britts ¨

¨ I know ¨


End file.
